Sestra Madison Ratcliffe: October 2016

Hi friends,

So upon arrival home life got a little busy. But I made it home in one piece, physically. I definitely felt like I left a piece of my heart over in Slovakia. LIKE ONE GIANT PIECE.

I have determined that the word "adjusting" is not my favorite word, nor is my favorite question "so, how are you adjusting?" I have changed the word from "adjusting" to "adapting"
this is why.
if you are adjusting, the word refers coming back to something. Yes, I came back to America, but NO, I cannot go back to the life I was living previously. its impossible. I am not that person anymore,
but with adapting, I can take who I was on my mission combined with the life I had before and create a NEW ADAPTED life that I want to lead out. and so far its working.

of course it is hard to come home, because I have never felt so lost in my own hometown or in my own skin. I remember the first days home feeling completely lost with no purpose. I have never cried so hard, trying to figure out your purpose, when your purpose for the last year and a half was, "invite others to come unto Christ" was/is difficult. how could I know what my purpose was when I wasn't wearing a name tag?
Yes, my purpose is still to invite others to come unto Christ, but not the way I have done it for the past year and a half. I had to adapt (theres that word again) my techniques. change up what I was doing and discover how I could invite people to come unto Christ while trying to figure out a new job, get prepared for school and adapt to this strange world I have come back to..
its still a work in process, I am trying to figure out my study schedule and my work schedule and my free time and my workout schedule and my meal schedule and life seems to be this giant mess and to add to all that stress I am still not unpacked, so my room is a LITERAL MESS.

did I mention that this whole adapting home thing is messy?

But I have learned that I need patience. and a lot of it!

We had a mission reunion that has blessed my life a ton since, but my mission president spoke to us about a few verses in Mark Chapter 5

it says,
" 1 And they came over unto the other side of the sea, into the country of the Gadarenes.

2 And when he was come out of the ship, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,

(now imagine this immediately after getting off the boat a man comes running after Jesus. My mission president related this to us getting off of the plane and the world hitting us like a brick to the face)

3 Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:

4 Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.

5 And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.

(could you imagine how you would react if you saw something like this? Most return missionaries probably feel similarly upon arriving home and seeing the influence of the world chasing after them. I wanted to get back on a plane with my name tag and hit the road, but look at how Jesus reacts)

6 But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,

7 And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not.

8 For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.

9 And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many.

(Jesus didn't jump back on the boats and say "alright guys he's a lunatic we got to go." He stayed, faced it head on and pressed forward)

10 And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country.

11 Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding.

12 And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them.

13 And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea.

(he cleansed the man, meaning that one day the world too will be cleansed. WE HAVE HOPE!)

14 And they that fed the swine fled, and told it in the city, and in the country. And they went out to see what it was that was done.

15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.

(isn't it interesting that the people who saw this healed man were afraid? They wanted Jesus to leave because to them facing this man seemed impossible, but for Jesus it wasn't. and for us it won't be either. We can face the world head on with or without a physical name tag, because we will always have Christ written on our hearts)

I am so grateful for my mission, for the experiences I had and will continue to have because of those wonderful people.

I WILL NEVER FORGET THEM.

THEY HAVE BECOME A PART OF ME.

I am in debt to them. I don't know how I could ever pay them back, but the memories I have of them, make this adapting a whole lot easier.

my life is forever changed because of Slovakia.

and I am so grateful for that.

So this is what I have been doing since I have been home.